All Messed Up
by SiRiUsLyPaDfOoTeD
Summary: Slash, beware! Sirius and Remus try to tell each other how they feel. Unfortunately, the guts in their stomach speak otherwise. Now, IF they get together, can they last? Or will the trials break them apart? R&R!:)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter in any way. All belongs to J.K. Rowling so don't kill me if something weird happens in the real story. :) KIDDING!**

**A/N: This is my first attempt at a slash fiction. Hope you like it.**

**%%%**

**SIRIUS**

God, he looks so beautiful.

There's something about him, something so different. I've had my own shares of girls, but they never matched up to him.

He seems like an angel. With his light brown hair and his pretty amber eyes, who wouldn't find him so irresistible?

Remus J. Lupin, the object of my desire... Oh, if only life would've been simpler, and I would've expressed my feelings for him. But it isn't, and it's not... in his nature to be gay.

"Sirius?" Remus waved his hands in front of my face, and grinned slightly. "Are you alright?"

I blushed. "Yeah, sorry, Moony."

"For a minute there, I thought you'd disappeared."

"Very funny," I remarked, making his smile grow wider.

"It's a Marauder thing," he told me, winking.

I felt a blush again at the nape of my neck. God, he makes me feel so... surreal. Hell, if this is love, I'd kill to feel this way forever.

**REMUS**

Sirius Andrew Black makes my heart sing.

Sounds cheesy, but I don't care. He makes it flutter so badly. When I'm around him it seems so hard to breathe, and my heart... It's like it beats faster yet slower at the same time. (A/N: Yeah, I know... HOT CHICK... Hehehe...)

His bangs falling into his eyes, his hair tied in a ponytail, his eyes always sparkling with mischief... Wow. But he's not gay. He wouldn't want to mate with a werewolf for life... He wouldn't.

"Great, Remus, now you're disappearing," Sirius teased, snapping me out of my reverie. I blushed slightly. He grinned softly.

"Sorry," I said apologetically. He laughed.

"No worries." He ruffled my hair and messed it all up. He's so... oh, great, I can't even say it.

"God, Siri," I said, fixing my hair.

"Hey, it's actually better all messy, thanks." Sirius rolled his eyes and I swatted his arm playfully. He grabbed my arm, which caused an unfamiliar jolt in my veins, and stared straight in my eyes. "Trust me, Moony, it does look better."

"Fine," I said slowly. He was inches apart from my face, and I could feel his breath on my cheeks. I flushed. Sirius, very flustered, released my hand and pulled away.

"Sorry," he muttered. He turned and went up to our dormitories. I sighed and closed my eyes.

God, Sirius... Why do you make me feel this way?

**SIRIUS**

_Why did I do that?!_ I mentally cursed to myself. I flopped on my bed, closed the curtains and slammed my head on the pillow. James Potter, my best friend opened the curtains in confusion. "Sirius?" he asked me uneasily.

"What?"

"What did you do? It was only Remus and you in the common room tonight." He raised an eyebrow at me, expecting me to spill.

I told him everything. As in EVERYTHING. From my feelings towards Remus until leaving the common room. "It's just different, James, so different." I buried my face in my hands.

"Wow, Sirius... That's so inspiring."

"What?" I looked up, confused.

"I never expected you to be... so in love."

"Ha, whatever." I rolled my eyes.

"Earnestly, Sirius," James said, looking at me with deep seriousness.

"What?"

"Remus would love that."

"What?" I repeated.

"He likes you too, Siri."

"No."

"Yes, he does."

"Stop teasing, James." God... Is what he's saying true?

**REMUS**

"Remus, you alright?" Lily Evans glanced at me in concern. I nodded, but my mind's drifting somewhere else. "Why can't you tell Sirius you like him?"

"He wouldn't accept," I answered bitterly. "He can't even stick to a girl for two weeks."

"What if he isn't interested in girls?"

"What are you saying, Lil?" I asked. "He's gay?"

"Think about it, Remus. He's stuck through everything with you. He accepted you being a werewolf."

"And if I tell him I'm in love with him, he'll think I'm abnormal," I said stonily. Lily sighed, sounding a bit frustrated. "Sorry, Lily."

"Remus, I don't know what to do with you." She shook her head and ruffled my hair. I smiled slightly. She put a charm on my hair, leaving it messy. I gasped.

"LILY!" I yelled, trying to fix my hair but my efforts were in vain.

_Trust me, Moony, it does look better. _I blushed at the memory. Lily grinned and nudged me. "Thinking about whom?"

"Shut up, Lil." I swatted her arm playfully. Lily giggled.

"Whatever, Remus Lupin." She embraced me. "Take care; I've got to do my Charms homework."

She stood up and left, leaving me to my thoughts. True... He never **did** get attached to girls... But that doesn't mean he's gay anyway...

Ugh, stupid brain! Tears fell down my cheeks and a sob escaped through my mouth. I hate this feeling! I HATE YOU, SIRIUS BLACK! I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!

"Remus?" Oh, god. Sirius fled to my side. "Remus, what the hell...?"

"Leave me alone!" I yelled. Sirius grabbed my wrists.

"What did I do?" he asked desperately. "Moony, tell me what's wrong."

Here I was, standing up with Sirius's hands on my wrists and his face inches from mine. I buried my face in the tall boy's chest and cried. Sirius released his grip on my hands and moved it to my waist. "Remus..." he whispered.

I looked up at him, tears in my eyes. He brushed away some tears. "Remus... I..." he began.

"I...?"

"I... I got to go." His hands dropped to his sides and he fled. There my heart broke.

%%%

**PLEASE R&R!!! :) Is it good?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: OMG!!! Thanks for all the dudes who reviewed!!! Thanks so much!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I'm lazy to write your names down, but special thanks to Lupin Rules 4EVA because you don't even like slash! Thanks!**

**Here's chapter 2!!!**

**REMUS**

That night Sirius came in late. I didn't want to talk to him. The fear of just being rejected again crept through my veins, and I just turned to face the window, trying not to face the side where Sirius stayed. Not a word was spoken between us, yet the silence seemed to burn through us at the same time.

The next morning James only looked at us both, as if anticipating something to happen. I never looked up at any of the Marauders' gazes: James's expectant one, Peter's confused one and Sirius's blank one.

The Great Hall was filled with chatter from the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables but ours and the Slytherins had a tension that wasn't usually there, especially in the mornings. The Slytherins were clutching their forearms like they were experiencing torture of some sort. Ours... Well, nobody really had their spirits up.

Our next subject was unfortunately Potions with Professor Winder. He's some nasty old windbag that graduated from Hogwarts as well, but from Slytherin so he led the Slytherin house. All Slytherin heads favored their house; so far they hadn't broken traditions.

"Class, be seated at once!" he bellowed, and us Gryffindors and Slytherins obeyed, us grudgingly and the Slytherins eagerly. I bet they wanted us to be tortured again.

"Lupin," he snarled, resting his eyes on me, "were you paying attention?"

I shook my head quickly, and my bangs flew into my eyes. _Trust me Moony, it does look better._ "Well, you should!" he yelled. "You're partnered with Black for today. Snape's sick."

"Yes sir," I answered, and headed over to Sirius's table. No words were exchanged. His eyes rested on mine, and I looked up at him. They were storm-grey...

"Remus, you ready?" he asked quietly.

**SIRIUS**

He's so beautiful...

God, what I did to him yesterday was quite unforgivable. "Yeah," he replied in the same voice I asked him. "What do we do first?"

We did the potion in silence, only asking what was necessary. James was looking at us strangely, and Peter was looking at us really confused.

"Remus," I said after awhile. He looked up at me, and I melted immediately into his eyes. "Um, we have to talk."

"Sure," he said after a moment of thought. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I was hoping we could... talk in private."

"Okay... Astronomy Tower. I have to do my homework there tonight."

"I'll see you there," I finalized and dropped the potion into a vial. "Our potion's done."

When he reached for the vial, our hands brushed and it's like electricity shot through my veins. Our eyes met, and I dropped the vial. He caught it deftly in his hand, and smiled softly at me. "Be a little more careful, Padfoot."

He hardly ever uses our nicknames, due to the memory of us turning into Animagi for him. He turned and walked up to the desk of Winder, and I felt a little out of breath.

I've got it bad.

**JAMES**

When WILL THEY GET TOGETHER?!

I've seen them. I've seen their chemistry. The way they look at each other, the way they react around each other... GOD, HOW OBVIOUS CAN THEY GET?!?!

"James, are you okay?" Peter asked me uneasily. I was gripping the vial in my hand.

"Oh, yeah, I'm alright," I assured, and loosened the grip I had on the vial. "Peter, submit it, please?"

"Alright, you did make most of the potion anyway," Peter reassured and he headed off towards the desk of Winder. I walked over to Sirius, searching for answers.

"Are you going to tell him?" I asked immediately.

"Tonight," he said softly. "God, James, you know werewolves mate for life."

"Are you ready for commitment?" I inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Anything for Remus," he said honestly. I could see it, he loved Moony so much. Remus returned and glanced between us.

"What's going on?" he asked uneasily.

"Nothing, next prank," I covered up, and I knew he didn't believe me. "Remus, don't worry. It's nothing."

I turned and walked to my desk, waiting for Peter. I felt Remus's eyes on me and slowly I began to think. _God, Sirius loves Remus so much. Maybe if I act like that towards Lily... Hmm..._

**REMUS**

The day passed quickly, as if it was a blur. All I could feel today was tension. I collapsed on my bed in the dormitory and pulled the covers over my head. I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest.

"Golly, what do I do?" I muttered in annoyance to myself. "I told Sirius I was going to go, but now... oh, god!"

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I whipped my head up and met the eyes of James Scott Potter. "Sorry, did I surprise you?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, taking a deep breath. James looked at me seriously, his glasses already at the tip of his nose.

"Remus, you told Sirius you were going to meet him." He kept his eyes on mine. "And you know when he gets hurt, well... something bad will happen, even if you're a Gryffindor. I'm not trying to threaten you, and I know you're not like that. Just go."

Wow. James looked at me expectantly, and I stood up, sighing. "Alright." I took my cloak and James smiled at me warmly.

"Relax, Remus, you know I won't ever hurt you," he told me.

I smiled nervously. "Yeah, I wasn't going to have second thoughts about going." I nodded, and James smiled at me again.

"Go ahead, Remus, he won't hurt you," he said gently. He tilted his head at the door and I headed towards it. So much for the homework. James seemed serious.


	3. Chapter 3

**REMUS**

I walked up the spiral staircase towards the Astronomy Tower. That night was cold, and I wrapped my cloak tightly around myself as I opened the wooden door. My eyes met Sirius's and his looked like he was about to leave.

"Where are you going?" I asked softly. Sirius looked down at me.

"Nowhere," was his reply and he stepped away from the door. I stepped inside and closed the door.

"Okay, what did you want to tell me?" I questioned.

"Oh, um..." Sirius actually seemed very nervous. "Remus, I..."

"You...?" I asked.

"W-well, I-I..." he trailed off, staring into my eyes. His breath was caught in his throat and so was mine. We stared into each other's eyes for awhile, until he cleared his throat. "Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it."

"Go ahead."

"Remus, well, you know..." Sirius was fiddling with his fingers. Wow, I never saw Sirius nervous. "I'm really sorry about yesterday and all..."

It felt as if my heart fell. I shouldn't have had my hopes up. I plastered on a smile and nodded. "I wouldn't have a heart if I didn't forgive you."

Sirius smiled in relief and embraced me. I melted into his arms. I could stay this way forever.

**SIRIUS**

It feels so perfect, holding him in my arms. I smiled for awhile and we released each other. "Thanks a bunch, Moony..." I whispered.

He smiled softly at me. "It's no problem. You're my best friend, Sirius."

Yeah, best friend... Nothing more. I was too scared to tell him anyway.

I held out my hand jokingly. "Let's head out, Sir Remus."

Remus blushed slightly, making my heart flutter. He took my hand. "As you wish, Sir Sirius." We laughed and headed to the Gryffindor Tower.

I always wish we'd be this way...

We entered the dormitory and James leaped up. "Well?" he asked expectantly.

"Well, we're friends now!" Remus said. James glanced at me strangely.

"Hey Rem, mind if I steal Sirius a few seconds?" he asked. He pulled me into the bathroom. He glared at me. "Siri! Why didn't you tell him yet?!"

"I couldn't..." I blushed. "My nerves got the best of me."

James sighed and ruffled my hair. "Sirius..." he said gently. "When will you tell him?"

"Sorry, James, I just couldn't." I sighed and James hugged me.

"Just decide soon." He smiled. "I can't wait till you two are together..."

I blushed. He chuckled and we went back outside. Remus stared up at the crescent moon from the window. I heard a soft sigh. "You're scared, aren't you?" I asked softly.

Remus turned to me and nodded, blushing slightly. I laughed and wrapped my arms around him. "My poor, poor Moony."

Remus blushed deeper and my heart soared. Is it possible that... he could love me back?

**REMUS**

The next morning we all walked down together. When we went down to breakfast, it was just Sirius, James and me. James went off to see Lily which left Sirius and I alone. We sat beside each other, our knees hitting each other lightly. I blushed and so did Sirius.

"So..." he said softly.

"So," I replied, just as soft.

"I'm hungry," he said, making me chuckle lightly while shaking my head. There was always that thing with Sirius. Nobody could make me laugh like he could. He smiled at me.

"I'm glad we're best friends, Moony," he said softly.

"Yeah?" I said, smiling up at him. He grinned and chuckled.

"Yeah." He ruffled my hair. I laughed. "Come on, it's Potions with Professor Winder. Wouldn't that be fun?"

I laughed some more. "It would, really," I said lightly. "That scumbag just brightens up my day!"

Sirius laughed. "But hey, we're partners again!"

I am so happy Snape's sick...

Ever since Sirius and I became friends again, we've been closer. And there have been signs that maybe he could even like me. Hmm... What would happen if we did?

"Remus?"

I shook my head, snapping out of my reverie, my hair falling into my eyes. He chuckled and brushed them away. "You're my spacing out boy."

"Yeah, as if you don't space out too," I shot back, grinning. Sirius blushed madly and I couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Nothing," I said, holding back another chuckle. Sirius raised his eyebrows and I chuckled slightly. "Come on, we will be late for Potions, you know."

And as if James knew it, he had already left with Lily, leaving me and Sirius alone to our thoughts as we walked towards the dungeons.

Life couldn't get any better.

**SIRIUS**

Sitting next to him makes me have butterflies in my stomach. We were working on this potion, I didn't bother with the name, and I was cutting roots while Remus stirred the potion. I stole a glance at him and did he look as beautiful as ever.

"Sirius, I need the roots now," he said, not looking up from the potion. I passed them to him and he poured them into the potion. "You're unusually quiet today, and so is the dungeon."

"I hadn't thought any pranks up," I admitted, blushing. Remus glanced up at me, his amber eyes staring into mine, shining with utter amusement.

"Sirius Black thinking up no pranks? What is this world coming to?" he teased. I rolled my eyes, grinning sheepishly.

"Well, I had other things on my mind," I said honestly, a slight blush crossing my cheeks. Yeah, my mind was on you so I couldn't think.

"Yeah? What was on your mind?"

I stared into his eyes for awhile, my breath caught in my throat. Curiosity appeared into his eyes and unknowingly I had said, "You."

**Sorry for the long update! LOL!:) Please review, sorry again!:) Thanks to the reviewers for my second chapter!:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**REMUS**

I stared at him, unable to say anything. He was thinking… of me? Me, the werewolf. Me, Remus Lupin. "W-what?" I asked softly.

Sirius looked scared. "God, did I say that out loud?" he asked nervously. I looked up at him, and his eyes looked truly nervous. Oh god…

"You… think about me?" I whispered so only he could hear me. Sirius glanced at me nervously.

"Yeah." He sighed. "Might as well tell you now, but---"

The bell rang and Sirius was cut off. "Can you tell me later? I'll just pass the vial."

I half-smiled at the boy I loved. "Okay," he said. He sounded like such an innocent child. I laughed lightly and headed to the front.

After Potions, Sirius and I were walking towards Defense Against the Dark Arts. For awhile we walked in awkward silence until Sirius broke it. "Remus, remember that I was supposed to tell you something?" he said softly.

"Yeah." I smiled up at him. He smiled too. "What is it?"

Then again his breath was caught in his throat. "Sirius…" I said softly. "Just tell me."

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath.

"Remus, I like you. I might even love you. I know I've been acting strange lately… And it's because most of those times I was supposed to tell you how I feel." He smiled weakly at me as I tried to digest this all in. "Remus Lupin… I love you."

And then it had sunk in my brain and tears slowly flew down my cheeks. I can't believe this. Sirius Andrew Black loves me. ME. The werewolf. As in me. Remus Lupin. "R-Remus, don't cry." Sirius looked panicky. "I'm sorry if I offended you in any way."

"N-no, Sirius, I'm just…" I really felt like everything was all a trick. "Excuse me."

I whipped around and walked away, the tears falling more than ever. I bet it was all a bloody lie. "Remus, wait!" he called, but I never wanted to look back anymore.

**SIRIUS**

It felt as if my heart was slowly being torn apart and thrown to the dogs. Damn it, why does he make me feel this way!

A lone tear slid down my cheek, which I quickly wiped away. Nobody ever saw a Black cry. Not even James Potter.

"Hey Siri!" a voice called. I turned around, seeing James wave at me from afar. "Hey, what's up? You seem…down."

"Uh, it's nothing," I lied quickly, trying not to really break down in front of my best friend. James raised his eyebrows at me.

"God, you suck at lying, you know that?" he said with a smile. "Seriously, Padfoot, what are you all sad about?"

"Remus doesn't love me," I blurted out. James' eyes widened. "Don't think of it as a shock, Prongs, I'm serious!"

I turned around and swept off. Forget classes. My heart's just been broken into two and it certainly couldn't be fixed.

**REMUS**

Who couldn't be more of an idiot as I am?

I just lost the chance of being with the guy I loved. I think my head's going nuts. I loved Sirius, honestly and I still do but… what the hell did I just do!

"Hey Remus," a voice said. My friend Holly Thompson came up to me and flashed me a smile. "What's up?"

And out of nowhere, words spit out of my mouth. "Holly, will you go out with me?"

Holly's face was filled with confusion. She wasn't happy or anything. She was just confused. Thank god I wasn't alone with this.

"Uh, okay," she said uneasily before walking away to catch up with Lily. I saw that she told Lily what happened because Lily glanced over at me with a same look of utter confusion.

"Remus!" a voice said cheerfully. I turned around and met James' eyes. He grinned at me. "Listen, d'you know what happened to Padfoot? I mean, he's all glum and I can't seem to find him. Perhaps he told you."

"No, he didn't tell me anything," I said, trying not to explode into tears. Shit, I did hurt him a tad too much. "Um, I better get going. See you, James."

I turned around and fled before anything worse happened. I thought of a place where nobody could ever find me. Brilliant, _the Forbidden Forest. _

Grabbing my cloak, I set off. I don't think anything's going to happen. After all, it's midday. I walked down to the lake and off into the woods. I was ready more than ever to run away. Who cares about "don't run away from your problems"! I don't.

**SIRIUS**

I took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling of my four-poster bed. Tears still threatened to spill down from my cheeks. I swear, I don't think I'll get over it. Okay, don't think like that, I will… Shit, I won't.

I sat up, thinking, _What the hell did I do wrong! I did the presentation right, a bit blunt, but I said my feelings!_

"God, I've gone mad," I murmured to myself. I ran a hand through my hair. "I've got to go somewhere, where no one'll find me."

Then suddenly my eyes lit up with happiness. "The Forbidden Forest," I said with a stroke of brilliance. I grabbed my cloak and set off, out of the Gryffindor Tower, down by the lake and finally into the woods.

I strode into the woods, dodging the branches ready to hit my face. Rustles of leaves kept echoing in my ears, not only that but also Remus's voice. _"Excuse me." _

Tears stung in my eyes. I wiped them away, my eyes burning with fury. "Forget him, Padfoot," I growled to myself. "He's not worth it. Damn, I'm going insane, I'm talking to myself!"

I walked into a clearing, stumbling and tripping off a large root. "Oh crap, not again!" a voice yelled angrily. I looked up and saw the person I never wanted to see.

It was Remus, trying to untangle his foot from a Devil's Snare.

**OH! Sorry to everyone who's been anticipating this! I really just lost inspiration! But now I'm back! Sorry, several apologies to all of you:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**SIRIUS**

Oh shit. "This is total bull," Remus muttered angrily to himself as he took out his wand. It slipped from his grip and the Devil's Snare wrapped its roots around it. "Argh!"

I sighed softly, but he heard it. Our eyes locked; mine showing blankness and his showing pure shock. "Look, I don't care but I need your help! I don't wanna die just yet!"

Oh, but I want you to die, to feel the same bloody pain as I'm feeling! But what can I do! _God, you're daft, you learned the Devil's Snare in first year, _the annoying voice in my head argued.

_As if I want to help him, _I argued back inside my head. "Hurry up! If it's that bloody voice inside your head, it's called a conscience!" Remus yelled angrily. "Bloody hell! My ankle!"

I sighed and tried to remember what happened in first year during Herbology. Oh crap, all I remember is my first prank on the Hufflepuffs! "Come on! Create a fire!"

"Haven't any wood!" I replied angrily, finally speaking up.

"Bull! Aren't you a wizard! The spell we used to catch Malfoy's robes on fire!" Remus yelped. "God, what's wrong with you!"

Okay, the curse, the curse… "_Lacarnum Inflamarae!_" I yelled. After awhile, the Devil's Snare died down. Remus bent down to rub his ankles, his bangs falling into his eyes. My heart started beating faster and faster. Oh, calm down, he already rejected you.

"Your wand," I said curtly, pointing to his wand on the floor. Remus paused and picked it up. He uncomfortably rubbed the nape of his neck.

"Thanks," he muttered. "You know, I was supposed to get away from you."

"Same here. After all, with you just saying that, it only makes it worse, doesn't it?" I said bitterly. Remus turned a dark shade of red. Ha, in your face, you mean bastard. _Don't say that, _my conscience chided. _You know you love him._

_Shove off! _I said to my conscience angrily. "Look, Sirius, I—"

"Maybe it's better if we go separate ways in the forest," I snapped suddenly. I whipped around and left.

**REMUS**

I watched him walk away, smashing my heart as he walked. Damn it. _I'm glad you realize how much of an idiot you are, _my conscience snapped.

"Gee, I didn't need that boost of encouragement," I muttered sarcastically. I started walking down the dirt path, trying to find my way around. As usual, I ended up in the same clearing as I was before.

"I hate this," I muttered to myself. "First, I break someone's heart. Then, I ask out someone I don't even like as more than a friend. Now, I act like an idiot in front of the guy I love. How pathetic can I get?"

"Very," a voice muttered. I turned around, wanting to see Sirius. I only saw Lucius Malfoy. "You're even talking to yourself. What the hell?"

"Gee, thanks for 'caring'." I did the quote en quote sign. Malfoy rolled his eyes, coming nearer. I nervously took a step back. He only took another step forward.

"So, you're gay, eh, Lupin?" he asked maliciously. I gulped. Shit. He heard everything. "Oh, you're secret's safe with me. You just need to do me a favor."

I gulped again. "A…favor?"

"Yes, just a simple one." He grinned nastily. Oh no. I did the only thing that I was instinctive to do.

"SIRIUS!"

**SIRIUS**

I heard my voice echo throughout the woods. I whipped my head around. It sounded like Remus. _Go after him, _my conscience instructed.

"Damn it, why do I always have to save him?" I said angrily as I ran through the forest.

_Because you're the only one who can._

I sighed and found the clearing. Malfoy was advancing on Remus. "Hey, get away from him!" I yelled. Malfoy met my eyes and smiled evilly.

"Well, if it isn't Lupin's knight in shining armor," he sneered. "Ready to be crushed, eh, Black?"

"Get. Away. From. Remus," I said through gritted teeth, gripping my wand. Malfoy took one step towards Remus and quickly I yelled my curse.

"Nasty little bugger, aren't you, Black?" Malfoy drawled, wiping the blood coming out of his mouth. "Well, you're going to be in for a nasty fall."

I kept cursing him, Malfoy dodging all of them. "Uh-oh," I muttered once I ran out of curses. Malfoy grinned meanly and took out his wand.

"Well, well, if it isn't Remus's love-candy… Didn't you know that this annoying son-of-a-butch is actually gay?"

"STUPEFY!" I heard Remus yell. Malfoy's eyes rolled up at the back of his head and he fell, landing on me. A grunt escaped my lips once I reached the ground.

"Get off," I grumbled, throwing him off me. I stood up and cleaned all the dirt of my robes. Wait. What'd Malfoy say!

**REMUS**

A sigh escaped my lips. I'm in deep crud. And I knew it. I ran a hand through my hair and heard Sirius draw in a breath. "I'm gonna go," I said, flushing. I ran out of the forest but I tripped. "Oh shit."

"Here, let me help you." Sirius came up to me and wrapped my arm around his shoulder to help me up. I turned pink at that. We stood up and I limped back to the castle with Sirius.

Madam Pomfrey cured my ankle at last. She fussed over me. "Madam Pomfrey, I'm fine," I said. She rolled her eyes.

"Come on, you have one visitor." She fluffed up my pillows and left. I saw Sirius enter the room, running a hand through his hair.

"Sirius," I said softly, my heart pumping faster than I figured. He sat beside me, discomfort edging us.

"How are you?" he murmured. I shrugged, nodding. We always did this. Every Marauder had the same thing. At least one of us had to be in the Hospital Wing every week. We've gone through the usual, broken ankles or unnatural curses.

"How're you?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I should be the one in that bed, after all, it was my heart that got broken," he said bitterly. Oh you don't even know the beginning of it…

"Sirius, I—"

"Just shut up, okay! I was there, admitting my feelings like I was an idiot blabbing about my homosexuality and you just run away! What the hell is up with that!" Sirius exploded. "That's one thing, but then I keep saving you from everything that you're going through! Bloody hell, Remus, what am I to you!"

I didn't say anything. The guilt was seeping through me. "Forget I even came here. I was stupid to come," Sirius muttered angrily. "Later, Remus. James will be visiting in awhile, he told me to tell you."

He swept away, leaving me slowly dissolving into tears. "Sirius, wait…" I whispered, but he was long gone.

**Thanks so much to andrea-88 for reviewing all my chapters! You rock, girl! Thanks also to the other reviewers! You guys rock too! And by the way, Lizzy, LOL, I wanted it to be longer. You're gonna feel worse with this upcoming chapter:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**REMUS**

I waited patiently for James, but all I really wanted was to tell Sirius I loved him so he won't be bitter with me anymore. A sigh escaped my lips. "Hey Moony," James said, entering the room to sit beside my bed.

"Hey, Jamie," I teased, a smile on my lips. James rolled his eyes, a grin on his mouth.

"Listen, I… heard what happened with Sirius." He looked at me in confusion. "You like him, don't you?"

"Like's even an understatement," I murmured, grinning slightly at him underneath my bangs. James laughed.

"Well… why'd you run away?" he asked, tilting his head to meet my eyes. I sighed nervously, playing with the sheets on my bed. "Come on, Remus, I'm all ears."

"I didn't want to! I was scared, I know I love Sirius and all, but I was scared that he was tricking me," I blurted out. "God, James, I was terrified, I didn't have a right mind then…"

"I see." James paused. "Sirius is in despair right now. He won't eat, won't sleep, he just stays in the dormitory, staring out the window and muttering words to himself."

"I'll be out soon. I know exactly what to do."

After awhile, I did get out of the Hospital Wing. Sirius still went to classes and I didn't. They said it was better if I stayed in the dormitory first.

All the while I was nervous, quickly waiting for Sirius' arrival.

**SIRIUS**

I felt utterly miserable.

Who wouldn't when your heart was broken into a million pieces?

I headed straight towards the dormitory after Double Potions. God, without a partner, having to do everything was hard. Well, I did have a partner; I just didn't let him work. Stupid ass Snape…

I entered the dorm, surprised to see Remus on his bed, waiting patiently. I stammered incoherently under my breath and turned around until he said, "Sirius Black, stay where you are."

Mumbling a cuss under my breath, I whipped around and sat on my bed. "What?" I asked curtly, not wanting to see his eyes. His eyes are one of the only things that made my breath get caught in my throat.

"Look at me."

"Why?" I asked sharply. "So I can see the disgust in your eyes? So I can see the flinch whenever I try to go near you? Or what other things that can hurt me?"

"No." Remus slowly tilted my chin to meet his eyes. His touch warmed up all my insides. "One, the so-called disgust you'll see in my eyes is what I call love. Two, whenever you go near me, I don't flinch, butterflies start coming and shivers go up and down my spine. And three, I know I hurt you before, but please give me the chance not to do it again."

Tears filled my eyes. Okay, I thought Blacks don't cry… I never cried before. "Sirius…" Remus said gently, moving over to hug me. He let me bury my face in his shoulder and cry. For once, I wasn't scared to cry in front of anyone.

**REMUS**

I never saw anyone cry like this.

But the way Sirius cried only made my heart break because it sounded so pitiful… You know those puppies that whimper and stuff? Well… He sounds like that. And it made me want to cry as well. "I'm sorry, Siri," I said softly, hugging him. "I'm sorry for hurting you so many times before."

"I'm sorry as well," Sirius sobbed, meeting my eyes. I kissed away all the tears that flew down his cheeks. "Remus… What are you…?"

"Did I ever tell you that I love you?" I whispered, smiling slightly. Sirius's eyes widened. I wiped away his tears with my thumb. I felt goose bumps on my skin and suddenly I did something I never expected myself to do.

I kissed him. It felt so bloody wonderful doing it too. It was like fireworks were erupting in my head and we both got lost in the moment. His arms slipped down to my waist and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer. I was only happy to oblige.

**JAMES**

I peered through the crack in the door and saw Sirius and Remus kissing. I think by this time I want to jump for joy. I wanted to squeal and shout and scream my lungs out. MY TWO BEST FRIENDS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!

"Are they in there?" I heard a melodious voice whisper to me. I turned around and found Lily Evans, my ultimate crush, Lily Evans! She was merely inches away from me. I think I might faint.

"Yeah. Check it out." Whoa, I was actually… normal! She peered through the crack and nearly squealed in excitement.

"They finally did it!" she whispered happily, meeting my eyes with her wonderful emerald ones. A smile curled on her lips and a flush crossed her cheeks.

"Yeah, aren't we proud?" I said, playing along with her happiness. She laughed softly and rolled her eyes at me. "Hey, we helped in this great achievement. Pep talks don't grow on trees, do they?"

"No, they don't." Lily grinned at me. For once, we have a civilized conversation. "Y'know, this is the first time we ever had a civilized conversation."

"It's as if you read my mind," I said, grinning down at her.

"And it's as if we can't hear you from inside!" I heard Sirius call out. Lily and I heard Remus and Sirius burst into peals of laughter. I went inside and immediately hugged the two of them.

"Took you two long enough," I whispered in their ears. They rolled their eyes and grinned at each other.

"Congratulations, you two," Lily said from the door, her eyes twinkling brightly. "I'm happy for you both."

"Thanks, Lil!" Sirius said, winking at her. She rolled her eyes. "Aw, you know you want me."

"Yeah, too bad Remus already has you," Lily said sarcastically, making me grin. Remus laughed and moved to hug Lily.

Finally, we've got them together. Now the thing is: How can Lily be mine?

**YAY! They finally got together… LOL, do I post my chapters fast! Please review! **


	7. Chapter 7

**REMUS**

Ever since I told Sirius how I felt, all I've wanted to do is to jump and skip around the halls, proclaiming my love for him. When I asked if he was ready to be a werewolf's mate for life, he said, "No problem. It's a first for me and it's a last as well. You're the only one I can love, Moony."

He smiled at me and butterflies crept across my stomach. I wanted to walk on air there and then.

Sirius, James, Lily (Yes, how interesting how she came to join us for a walk) and I were walking to Transfiguration when Snape came up to us. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my four favorites," he sneered.

"What do you want, Snape?" Sirius seethed. From behind Lily and James, I grabbed his hand, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles so he could relax. Although I love him, I don't want him to hurt anyone. Even Snape.

"Nothing, just wondering where Lupin goes every month, by now if your mother's still sick, she would be dead," Snape replied coolly. I suddenly gripped on Sirius's hand really hard. It was one thing to start talking, but another story is when you start insulting my mother.

"Don't insult Remus' mother," James warned angrily, gripping his wand in his pocket. Lily shot a warning glance at James.

"Oh, is Lily Mudblood Evans joining the Marauders now?" Snape mocked. Malfoy came up to us and smirked, focusing his eyes on me. Oh shit.

"Oh no, if it isn't the unlucky fag and his sex toy," Malfoy drawled, raising his eyebrows at me and Sirius. Shit. My grip on Sirius's hand grew tighter. "Oh! Potty and Mudblood as well. Isn't this a lucky day, huh, Snape?"

"Go shag yourselves, we know you can't get anyone else," Lily shot at them, her face flushed. James applauded.

"Nice comeback, Lily," he whispered. Lily grinned and supplied thanks his way.

"Finally deciding to go out with that loser of a wizard?" Snape inquired Lily, his eyes glittering maliciously. "Didn't know you had it in you, Mudblood."

"Don't call her that!" James yelled angrily. Sirius, as I had noticed had kept quiet. His face was white and his knuckles were white too. He will explode any minute.

"Oh, and your two fag friends don't mind?"

That was all it took. Sirius lunged at Snape and James lunged at Malfoy. I saw one of Malfoy's cronies, Crabbe, try to help but it resulted in me trying to fight that troll of a guy. Lily was screaming, asking a younger year to call a teacher. Fortunately, it was McGonagall who appeared.

"What is this monstrosity?" she asked in horror. I stopped with Lily pulling me away. I pulled Sirius and James. We ended up bruised pretty badly. I had a black eye, a cut lip and a broken wrist. Sirius had a black eye, a cut lip and two sprained wrists. James was the worst. It was like he was going through the Crutacius Curse. He was shaking, aside from two black eyes and a broken wrist. It looked like loads of knives had sliced his body.

"They were insulting us, Professor," Lily said, pointing at the three on the floor who had ended up worse than we did. "Although Sirius, James and Remus attacked, they fought back."

"Detentions for all six of you!" McGonagall shrieked. "Hospital wing, now! Ms. Evans, accompany them, okay?"

"Yes, Professor." Lily led all of us to the Hospital Wing, although she paid rather close attention to James more than anyone else.

**SIRIUS**

I held on to Remus's shoulder as we walked. He gave me a small smile, making butterflies soar in my stomach. I smiled back, my heart pounding a thousand miles an hour. "Hey, wanna spy on Jamie and Lily?" he whispered. I laughed and grinned, nodding.

We watched James and Lily. They were getting pretty close. Ooh, go James! Lily was grinning and actually _laughing _at something that James said. He winced as he laughed, uh-oh, rib problem! And Lily held his hand! OOH!

"Did you see that, Rem?" I whispered. Remus laughed and nodded. "Whoa, what's Jamie been doing?"

"I wouldn't know." Remus chuckled. "God, you spy too much."

"Hey, I wasn't the one who suggested it," I murmured in his ear, making the back of his neck grow red. I chortled and kissed the back of his neck. He bit his lip. Aw, he's flustered.

We went to the Hospital Wing and Madam Pomfrey treated our wounds. Remus squeezed my hand when he was being treated. Aw, poor boy… LOL.

God, after everything that's happened, I nearly forgot exams were coming up. Since we're sixth year, we have Pre-Newts. Sucks, doesn't it?

After awhile, most of us rested in the common room. James and Lily went down to the kitchens for some hot chocolate. I swear, James turned a good bright pink when Lily asked him to go with her.

Remus was studying his pre-NEWTS when I sat beside him after awhile. "Hey Rem," I whispered in his ear. He nearly jumped in surprise.

"Sirius, you scared me," he commented, running a hand through his hair. I laughed and leaned over to kiss him. "Sirius, I have to study."

"It's just pre-NEWTS, Remus, please," I said pleadingly. He gave me a warning glance. "Remus…"

I put on my puppy dog eyes. God, it's too hard to please this guy.

**REMUS**

Oh brother…

"No, Sirius, I have to study."

"Come on, you can ace it like that." He snapped his fingers together. I sighed.

"It's not as easy as you say it is. You can ace it without studying, I can't."

"But Remus," he whined.

"Sirius, I have to study."

"Please! Just one kiss then."

I sighed and smiled slightly before leaning over and planting a quick soft kiss on his lips. He smiled in satisfaction before leaning over and kissing me again. He ran his hands through my hair and I couldn't help but melt into the kiss.

"Sirius… I have to study."

"So you're saying that this is more important than us?" Sirius glanced at me in confusion.

"It's not like that. It's just that I really have to focus on this. It's really hard, and I'm afraid to pass."

"Then I'll help you after we have some fun!"

"Well, I don't have time for fun!" I burst out. "Look, I have to pass this! I can't do anything else, okay? Don't be selfish!"

"Look who's being selfish!" Sirius yelled back. "I just want our relationship to work!"

"Well, if you want a relationship based on 'fun', I'd rather not have one!" I screamed. I threw my book aside and went up to the dormitory, tears streaming down my face.

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**Hey! To Miri, thanks for your flame! Can you email it to me please? I want to be criticized! Thanks to the others for the review:)**


	8. Chapter 8EDITED

**SIRIUS**

I ran a hand through my hair in annoyance. God, he's such an uptight, goody two-shoed, studious, cute, wonderful… ARGH!

I ran across the grounds, trying to loosen up. "Sirius, wait up!" I heard someone say suddenly. I turned my head and saw Remus, trying to catch up with me. Okay, first, he hates me, now he's running after me? What the hell's going on?

I couldn't say a word as he approached me, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. He looked so wonderful, the sun highlighting his light brown hair dashed with gold and sparkling his gorgeous eyes. "I just wanna apologize," he said softly, not meeting my eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you, really, I just felt really tense because of the Pre-NEWTS and thinking you'll love me just because you wanna have sex—"

"Remus," I interrupted, "I'd never love you just for the sex. It's pleasurable, yeah, but it won't compare to you as a whole. The Pre-NEWTS won't be so bad. I'm sorry for not letting you study but those are just preparing us for what lies ahead. We'll go through it together, okay?"

I opened up my arms slightly and he perfectly slipped into place. My heart started beating faster than normal. Wow, I really AM in love with this guy… "I love you, Sirius," he murmured against me. I blushed and smiled.

"Yeah, I love you too, Remus…"

**REMUS**

Sirius and I walked hand-in-hand towards the castle, chatting happily as we did. Everyone had misunderstandings, hell, I bet Sirius and I will have loads, we just _adore _debating with each other.

We were walking to Gryffindor Tower when we spotted James and Lily chatting as well. "What fun, Jamie and Lily flower," Sirius said under his breath, making me chuckle. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we watched from a distance.

"Uh, yeah, I was just wondering if you'd like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend to just… like… um, hang around or something," James said nervously, running a hand through his hair. James was never nervous, only around Lily did he act like a true dork. Just kidding.

"Um," Lily said, taken aback, "I'd love to."

Sirius and I suddenly whooped happily, and we immediately covered our mouths afterward. James and Lily burst out laughing before finding us and giving us playful "stern" looks. "God, you two, can't you find anything better to do?" James asked.

"Well, James, we'd love to but you and Lily are our favorite subjects," Sirius commented, grinning his cute lopsided grin.

"Yeah, after all, you did it to us too," I added, making Sirius and I chuckle in amusement.

"Ugh, fine," James mumbled, but Lily merely laughed and gave us both a hug.

"Don't expect us to get married anytime soon though," she commented.

"But you didn't say don't expect us to get married," Sirius said. I laughed and raised my eyebrows in amusement. Lily turned a good shade of red, her eyes twinkling brightly.

"I better go. See you all later, then," she said, becoming flustered. She went up to the common room, after pecking James on the cheek. Hmm… What fun.

The three of us ran into Peter ended up by the kitchens of course, instinct taking us there. We chatted about all the mischief we made, all the troubles we've caused and yet all the achievements we've done. "Honestly, Marauders, I'd say we've done a good job causing mayhem and triumph to our batch here," James commented, eating some Yorkshire pudding.

"I'll toast to that," Sirius said, holding up his butterbeer. "To the mischief of the Marauders."

"To the troubles of the Marauders," I added, holding up my butterbeer. Peter laughed and held up his butterbeer.

"To the achievements of the Marauders." We clinked bottles and drank it up to the last drop. No matter what, we were the Marauders, mischief, mayhem and brilliance all rolled into one.

**SIRIUS**

Eventually sixth year had to end. It was a weird year, somewhat fantastic, somewhat strange. Remus, James, Lily and I passed with high marks during Pre-NEWTS, I loved the look on Remus' face when he found out he got the highest marks in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Lily had gotten Charms, James had gotten Transfiguration and I, to my great surprise, had gotten high in Herbology.

"Well, people, this calls for a Hogsmeade visit," James said, grinning as we walked down the halls after getting our grades that Saturday.

"Indeed, I'm craving for a butterbeer." Remus licked his lips. God, he looks wonderful, as always.

"I just drank some," I said teasingly and bent down to receive a kiss. To my delight, I got one, a very nice one at that.

"Get a room, you two," Lily said jokingly as she entwined her fingers with James's. I grinned impishly and pulled away the same time Remus did.

"God, you ruin kisses too much, Lily," Remus commented, laughing.

We went down to the Three Broomsticks and ordered butterbeers. James and Lily sat across Remus and I. Our knees hit each other's slightly, making us chuckle at each other. "So, to seventh year?" Lily asked, holding up her bottle.

"To NEWTS," Remus said, rolling his eyes as he held up his bottle.

"To more mischief and mayhem," I said, holding up my bottle and grinning.

"To us four," James said finally, holding up his bottle. The four of us laughed and clinked bottles.

"CHEERS!"

**AAGH! I'm sorry for slipping up last chapter; I didn't know how to rewrite it! Thanks so much, I'm finally done! Keep reading:)**


	9. Epilogue

**Epilogue (Told in 3rd Person POV)**

Four Years Later…

"Ouch, Remus!" Sirius whined as Remus accidentally stepped on his foot.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Remus gently kissed Sirius to keep him quiet. They eventually kissed for a long time before Remus pulled away in satisfaction. "Well, that kept you quiet."

"Yeah, I was stunned by your skills," Sirius said sarcastically, grinning at Remus. "Anyway, where are we meeting James, Peter and Lily?"

"Floran Flortescue's Ice Cream Parlor," Remus said. "They said they had something important to tell us."

"Cool, then, let's go!" Sirius literally dragged Remus out the door. "I remember when they had their first date! Isn't it sweet?"

Remus laughed and entwined their fingers. "Yes, I remember, we were eavesdropping." He grinned. "We could've Apparated there, if you remember?"

"I like taking walks with my sexy werewolf boyfriend," Sirius said as he kissed the fading scar on Remus's forehead. "I love you, if you remember."

Remus rolled his eyes and smiled.

As they reached the parlor, they saw Lily and James waving at them. "You two took forever!" James complained. "Lily and I were getting bored."

"You two get bored? You could've snogged," Sirius commented, grinning roguishly as he sat beside James. Remus sat beside Lily, who was blushing slightly.

"Okay, so what's the news?" Remus asked, tilting his head to meet Lily's eyes. She blushed a good shade of red. "Come on, Lily Flower!"

"James and I are getting married," she blurted out. Remus and Sirius paused before whooping happily.

"Aww yeah!" Peter said gleefully. "Okay, that means we get Firewhiskey!"

"Hey, we can't get drunk in the daylight!" Sirius argued. "Peter, use your Marauding brain! We have to call Frank and Alice! Boy, will they be excited!"

"Oh no, Alice might fuss!" James whined.

"No, James, we have to call Alice," Lily said firmly, glaring at him with a smile on her lips. James grinned and met her lips in a kiss.

"PICTURES!" Sirius and Remus yelled. With a flip of their wands, they managed to take at least three, with help from Peter.

None of them knew about the traitor in their midst. None of them knew about the deaths to come. None of them knew about the brilliant child James and Lily will soon have. But it didn't matter. Sirius and Remus would be ready.

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**Thanks for all the reviews! I'm finally done:) Thanks so much to Xandria Nirvana! I love ya, dear:P **


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